目前的社会救助研究多基于救助者立场，受助者的感受未受到充分重视，导致救助有时反而会构成对受助者的伤害。作为教育救助主要对象的儿童、青少年群体在面临伤害时尤为脆弱，亟需对其感受与处境予以重视。本文通过文献研究与半结构化访谈，从受助者视角研究了教育救助中受助学生可能面临的困境，并借助礼物理论探讨了受助者困境的成因与走出困境的可能途径。试图以此探索更好的教育救助方式，也为更广泛领域社会救助的完善提供借鉴。

研究发现，教育救助可能会给受助者带来社交压力、行为限制与心理压力等负面影响，使他们处于持久的矛盾困境中。不同救助主体与不同救助观念下的受助者困境则有所不同，相较于被视为恩惠的社会类教育救助，被视为义务的国家类教育救助能最大程度减轻受助者的压力。这种差异则主要源于受助者所处的救助—受助关系的状况，涉及到给予—接受关系的内在矛盾。要化解这种关系的矛盾，可以通过取消救助者的在场，使无偿的礼物成为可能；或为受助者提供合适的回报途径，以达成“送取相宜”的状态。

Current researches on social assistance are mostly based on the donor's perspective，and the feelings of the recipients are not fully taken into account，which leads to the fact that sometimes assistance may become hurt. As to educational assistance, most of the recipients are children or adolescents, who are more vulnerable to the hurt caused by inappropriate assistance, so it is urgent to consider the feelings of the recipients carefully in order to achieve real assistance. Through literature research and semi-structured interviews, this paper studies the dilemma of educational assistance recipients from their own perspectives, and discusses the causes and solutions of the dilemma from the perspective of gift. This paper attempts to explore better ways of educational assistance and thus to improve social assistance in a wider range of fields.

The study finds that educational assistance may bring negative effects such as social pressure, behavioral restrictions and psychological pressure to the recipients, putting them in a persistent dilemma. The dilemma varies with assistance subjects and concepts, and the educational assistance from the state as a duty can reduce the pressure of the recipients to the greatest extent compared with that from society, which is regarded as grace. This difference comes mainly from the situation of the helping-receiving relationship, which relates to the "inherent" contradiction in the giving-receiving relationship. To alleviate this contradiction，we can create gratuitous gift by making the donor absent，or achieve the balance between giving and receiving by providing the recipients with suitable ways to repay.