以往对张爱玲个性特征的研究已经有相当的成就，但尚不够系统和深入，仍有进一步研究的必要性。 本文着力于探寻张爱玲现实生活中的感情取向，试图从亲情、爱情、友情三个角度，去透析张爱玲似冷实热的情感生活。全文共分四部分： 绪论部分概括了研究张爱玲情感取向的意义，指出张爱玲不幸的童年生活让她的“认同焦虑”表现得尤为明显，梳理出她冷淡旁观掩盖下对得到亲人、爱人、友人认同的渴望。独立后，她把这种认同升华为“懂得”，以“懂得”为感情投射的依据，对“懂得”她的人，从不吝惜热情。 第一章围绕亲情展开，从家族、父母等与张爱玲的关系入手，指出张爱玲对正常家庭生活，对正常父女、母女关系的渴望。揭示她幼年时因渴望认同而靠拢，成年后因不被认同而决裂，最终回归的亲情选择。 第二章围绕爱情展开，通过张爱玲与胡兰成、赖雅的两段婚姻，归纳出“懂得”在她的爱情选择中的重要性，进而揭示其情感选择、一往而深的原因，以及面对困难的坚守与不悔。 第三章围绕友情这个命题展开，通过张爱玲一生中对朋友的选择、交往和对他们投注的热情，梳理出她理想的友情观。 本文在结语中认为，张爱玲一生都在追寻她自幼年就缺乏却最盼望拥有的“认同感”。她用“懂得”衡量亲情的温度、度量爱情的深度、测量友情的浓度，并给身边的每一个人一个精确的定位。以“懂得”为标准，张爱玲完成了孤僻与热情的转换。

Achievements on Eileen Chang's personality research is considerable, however, there is still a need for systematic and in-depth further research. Through exploring the Emotional Orientation of Eileen Chang’s real life, this paper is trying to see through her enthusiastic emotional life appears so cold from three perspectives: family love, love, and friendship.The paper is divided into the following four parts: The part of introduction outlines the significance of the study of Eileen Chang's Emotional Orientation and points out that the unfortunate childhood leads to her obvious “crisis of identity”, and sums up her desire of identity from her family, lovers and friends under the guise of her cold stand by observing. After her independence, she elevated the identity up to “Being Understood”, regarding it as her basis of emotional projection, and never begrudge her enthusiasm on the relevant person. The first chapter starts from her family study, and on her relationship with the family and her parents, draws out that Eileen Chang had a desire of normal family life, between father and daughter, and mother and daughter, which reveals the reason of her selection of moving closer for recognization in her childhood, breaking up when not being recognized as an adult and the ultimate reunification with her family. The second chapter is about her two marriages, sequencely with Hu Lancheng and Reyher, which concludes to the importance of “Being Understood” in the selection of her love, and thus reveal the deep reasons in her emotional choices and her sticking to it without regrets even when facing difficulties. Chapter III is on her friendship, by studying on her choices and contacts with her friends, and her enthusiasm on them in Eileen Chang’s lifetime, the paper sums up her ideal view of friendship. In the conclusion, this paper points out that Eileen Chang is pursueing to the “identity” that she is mostly looking forward to but lacking of in her childhood. She measured the temperature of her family, love and friendship with the standard of whether or not “Being Understood” and gave a precise position to everyone around her. By this standard, Eileen Chang completed her conversion from being eccentric to enthusiastic.