在人际交往中，讨好型沟通姿态的群体数量众多，且讨好型沟通也逐渐成为大众热议的话题之一。在社会文化因素、家庭因素以及个人特质的影响下，该类型的群体为了迎合他人期待、满足他人需求，表现出不断讨好对方，忽略自己的行为。讨好型沟通姿态的个体往往心境抑郁、自尊水平低下，极有可能会通过自我牺牲、自残和自杀的方式来凸显自我价值感的极度缺失。因此，加大对该群体的关注，并进行及时而有效的干预非常有必要。

本研究报告的是一位在人际中表现出讨好型沟通姿态的女大学生为转变沟通姿态，提升自我价值感而前来寻求咨询的案例。咨询师详细了解了来访者的基本信息，并通过《贝克抑郁量表（第2版）》、《罗森伯格自尊量表》和《萨提亚沟通姿态量表》对来访者的抑郁水平、自尊水平和沟通姿态进行系统评估。经判断，来访者轻微抑郁、自尊水平较低且表现为讨好型沟通姿态，访谈中获悉来访者与父母交往中表现为焦虑型依恋模式，存在关系中被压抑的委屈与恐惧等深层情绪，因此认为情绪聚焦疗法适用于干预本个案中的来访者。

干预过程包含1次初始评估和9次正式咨询，每次咨询时长为50分钟。正式咨询部分依据情绪聚焦疗法（Emotion Focused Therapy, EFT）中的稳定、重构和巩固三阶段进行工作，通过对来访者内在人际关系的关注、强调过往经验的意义、情绪安全感的建立等等，对来访者在早期经验中的依恋创伤、个人的低自尊及无价值感进行干预，处理来访者存在的依恋和情绪问题，促使来访者在人际中做到一致型沟通。

全部10次咨询结束后，来访者状态发生明显改善，咨询达到预期效果。（1）抑郁情绪：《贝克抑郁量表（第2版）》得分由16分降到2分，抑郁症状基本消除，处于无抑郁状态；（2）自尊水平：《罗森伯格自尊量表》由14分升为24分，自尊水平显著升高，具有高自我价值感；（3）沟通姿态：《萨提亚沟通姿态量表》中讨好型沟通姿态分量表得分由26分降为13分，且其余三种沟通姿态均在正常区域内，人际交往表现为一致型沟通；（4）回访反馈：2个月后的追踪回访中，来访者表示状态良好，无抑郁心境，未出现“我不好，我毫无价值”的想法，且在与父母、朋友、伴侣的相处过程中，可兼顾他人与自己的想法并进行一致型沟通。

In interpersonal communication, there are a large group of people with ingratiating communication gestures, and ingratiating communication has gradually become one of the hot topics of public discussion. Under the influence of social and cultural factors, family factors and personal characteristics, in order to meet the expectations of others and meet the needs of others, this type of group present behaviors to constantly please others and ignore themselves. Individuals with ingratiating communication postures tend to be depressed and have low self-esteem, and are quite likely to express their complete lack of self-worth through self-sacrifice, self-harm and suicide. Therefore, it is very necessary to pay more attention to this group and carry out timely and effective intervention.

This study reported the case of a female college student who showed a pleasing communication posture in interpersonal communication and sought for counseling to change her communication posture so as to improve her sense of self-worth. The counselor collected detailed background information of the client, and systematically assessed her depression level, self-esteem level and communication posture through the Baker Depression Scale (2nd Edition), the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale and the Satya Communication Pesture Scale. According to the judgment, the client was slightly depressed, had low self-esteem, and presented the pleasing communication posture. It was learned from the interview that the client presented the anxious attachment mode in the communication with her parents, and there were deep emotions such as repressed grievance and fear in the relationship with her parents. Therefore, it was considered that emotion-focused therapy is suitable for the intervention of the client in this case.

The intervention consisted of an initial assessment and nine formal consultations of 50 minutes each. Formal consultations were performed on the basis of stability, reconstruction and consolidate the three stage of EFT, the attention of clients through the inner relationship and emphasis the significance of past experience, the establishment of emotional security, and so on, to make intervention into the trauma in early experience of the client, personal sense of low self-esteem and sense of no self-worth, to deal with the client’s problems in attachment and emotions, and promote the client’ consistent communication in interpersonal relationships.

After all 10 sessions of consultations, the status of the client improved significantly, and the consultations achieved the expected effects. (1) Depression: The score of Baker Depression Scale (2nd edition) decreased from 16 points to 2 points, and the depression symptoms were basically eliminated and the patient was in a state of non-depression; (2) Self-esteem: The Rosenberg Self-esteem Scale increased from 14 points to 24 points, indicating a significant increase in self-esteem and a high sense of self-worth; (3) Communication posture: The score of pleasing communication posture subscale in Satya Communication Posture Scale decreased from 26 points to 13 points, and the other three communication postures were all within the normal area, and the interpersonal communication was consistent. (4) Feedback of the follow-up visit: in the follow-up visit 2 months later, the client indicated that she was in a good state, without depression, without the thought of "I am not good, I am worthless", and in the process of getting along with parents, friends and partners, she could conduct consistent communication, with ideas of others and hers taken into account.